i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
