She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
