Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
