I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
