hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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