Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Who did Billy Mays play for?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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