Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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