She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize