i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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