ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
