Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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