3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
