I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
