Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
