Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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