I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
