My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
