I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
