He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
