Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I need a burrito and a hug.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
