We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
