It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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