It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
