That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
