I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
