so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
