Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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