i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize