are you still at the devil's house?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The beer is more important than you right now.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
