NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize