I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
