Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
