i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize