This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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