So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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