yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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