i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
