I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
someone owes me an orgasm
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
