You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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