also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
