She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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