Little spoons don't ask big questions
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
