Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
