Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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