The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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