At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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