Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We left an ass print on the piano.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
