Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
