she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
