i don't like sucking hair
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
