Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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