It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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