yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
