kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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