Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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