Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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