Sponge bath it is.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
