I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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