what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
