ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize