Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
