I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize