I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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