so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
