what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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